I was taught how to fall without being killed. I hesitated, as I don’t want to go against my own rules of being untrained. However, it was necessary for me to learn so I didn’t get hurt in the dojo, which I completely understood. So, this was the one exception. When you think about it, I basically learned how to be knocked down and in no way would anyone describe that as learning to fight.

Then, we moved on to sparring. First, I took on Keen (I’m sorry if I misspelled your name), although the entire day, I thought his name was Ken. So, I do remember his name now. We fought for five minutes; actually we fought for like a minute or two, then I gassed out and attempted to fight for the remainder of the bout. I felt pretty good about it and thought I did fairly well. Then, I took on a new student at the dojo but don’t let that fool you! She was new at ninjitsu but holds a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and yes I said SHE. Now, before you jump all over me for fighting a girl—I’m a fat, out of shape blob, with a gas tank of two minutes max and no fighting ability. She has a black belt. She did mostly kicks but I think I kept my own until she kicked me directly on the finger tips of my left hand. I’m pretty sure she broke my pinky at the least but I don’t have time for that. So, we’re letting that heal on its own…I’m sure it’ll be fine. Then, she kicked me in the mouth. Which wouldn’t have been so bad, except this was our first sparring session and we didn’t have head gear yet. So it stung a bit, I tasted some blood but I ignored it…until she mentioned that I was bleeding. It’s one thing to make me bleed, but then to mention it to me? Well, I got a little frustrated, caught her next kick then, sent her flying in the air and to the ground. I even hit her with a nice hook to the head. It’s the first and probably only time someone will cheer for me hitting a girl. For the record, she had full head guard with face shield and I didn’t try to hit her hard.

Then there was Chuck, my last opponent for the day. Now he’s the second highest black belt in the dojo and I was a little intimidated. But Chuck is a friend of mine and I didn’t like the idea of hitting him that much. He tapped me in a few seconds. Then we went for round two, he got me in a choke-hold, but I broke free and was actually on top of Chuck on the ground. It would have been more exciting but I was so tired I could only lay on top of him and pray for Brandon to end the match.

We ended with Adam taking on Keen. It was pretty much a Keen fight and in the end. Adam left with a forearm that had a pear size welt swelling out of it. I felt pretty good about my first day and then I watched the tape of my sparring and what I thought in my head, didn’t match what I saw on the screen. I looked like one of those mummies from the old horror movies, all stiff and dragging around the place. It’s funny how your perspective of things doesn’t always match reality. The first day is over and now I see I have a lot of work to do. Wish me luck.

-Jared Whitton